yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize