Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
