For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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