You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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