4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
