Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
