Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
