I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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