So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
