i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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