As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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