I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
