Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
