All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
