I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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