haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
