I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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