1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
