We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
