If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
