she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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