I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
