he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
