She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
