I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
