My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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