What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
