I only kidnapped one of them. chill
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
