we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
organizing the empties. That sober.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
