all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
