It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
