dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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