One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
