so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
