Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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