I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
