just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
