Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
