Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
