i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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