Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
