the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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