i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
