Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
