ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
