Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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