dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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