Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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