Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
