I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
