What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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