I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
